Cry, Even Better if you Beg

, a pleasant face surfaced in the forefront of his thoughts, letting him hum comfortably in peace. 

Her green eyes reminded him wonderfully of evergreen leaves in the morning dew.
How beautiful.

But what did it mean to love?

What an odd request, he couldn’t wrap his mind around it.
How should he love her?

They already shared a bed, seen each other in their bare bodies, and utter vulnerability.
He’d gifted her the things she desired and more, and she’d welcome his advances in return. 

How else was he supposed to love her? 

He hadn’t answered her back then, because he didn’t see a difference in what they had been doing to what he knew love to be.
Her earnest wish for him to love her, left him completely baffled. 

Though it seemed time had stretched between them in silence, it lasted only for a short while, before his attention was brought back to the present and to his urgent schedule by his attendant, who had interrupted their moment. 

He had glanced back at her one last time, looking at those emerald orbs that seemed to glisten in sadness as he turned away from her.
He might have been wishfully thinking about that last bit, but he classified it as something to think about later.

And that’s when the feeling of something amiss had begun.
He’d left her behind for his trips before, yet something in his gut was churning uncomfortably, the wrongness of their latest encounter bugging him to no end. 

But even though it felt like his feet were being swept up beneath him, her last pretty smile to him made everything feel like he was floating instead.
It was with her, he could feel he had wings.

She was his damnation, but she was also his salvation.

His eyes fluttered open once more, and focused back on the passing buildings outside his window, before it was engulfed in pure darkness as they passed through a tunnel.
Leyla was still firmly in his mind, more prominent now in the darkness, as she was the only thing lighting his way.

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She hadn’t held onto him once they’d been interrupted.
Instead, she let out a nervous laughter and stepped back to give some ample space between them.

And he got in his car without further adieu, watching the rearview mirror as she stood in place, watching him leave her, until she was no longer within his sight. 

He’d looked back several times once she did.
Craning his neck around to catch more glimpses at her, resolutely ignoring the stares of his attendant and chauffeur.
The creeping feeling of him leaving behind something important grew with the distance between them. 

Once more, he pushed thoughts of those back in his mind and focused on the landscape that had returned to view outside. 

Leyla would be there when he returned anyway. 

*.·:·.✧.·:·.*

The feeling persisted, as did the thoughts that kept arising even as he tried to bury it for later thoughts of her.
In no time, he’d finally arrived in Ratz.
And his attendants came bustling around him, preparing him for the royal banquet and he only stood there and waited for them to finish their tasks. 

And then the night was over, and a new day rose again, and he went on to do the tasks he intended to finish earlier to spend more time with his mistress. 

He suddenly felt the urge to look back once more, irrational as it was.
He knew he wouldn’t see Leyla behind him, no matter how hard he looked.
Leyla was firmly in Arvis, and would remain there until he moved her to their mansion in Ratz.

Still, every passing glance at a blonde woman, he wished them desperately to be Leyla.
The more he thought of her, the more clearly he could see her in every single thing in Ratz. 

Even the clear memory of her bright smile gave him a jittery feeling.
It made everything brighter in this night of frenzy and socialites.
How pathetic of him to think that. 

Once he was done being prepared, automatically he came towards his large window, and drew the curtains open, before belatedly realizing this wasn’t Arvis.
He was already in his mansion in Ratz. 

It didn’t matter, he told himself placatingly.
Leyla would soon come to live with him here, and here, they would be free to be with one another as they wished. 

Did everything really come to him as easily as she said it did? He never thought about it before.

Perhaps she was right in that regard.
But was it his fault he was born with a silver spoon? It wasn’t also his fault that people loved giving him things he wanted at a moment’s notice.
It was also why he’d never felt threatened by anyone.

He could make anything he wanted happen with his own will and power. 

And then the image of her falling down the road, her bike being upturned, and its wheels spinning uncontrollably on the side of the road came to mind.
He felt his heart quickening painfully in his chest at the sight of it, he barely noticed the rustling leaves around them…

Was everything really so easy for him?

She wasn’t easily attained by him after all. 

With a sigh, Matthias turned around, and leaned back against the windowsill in deep thought. 

The Brandt family would be coming around to visit them in Ratz.
He had no doubt it would be to discuss details on his upcoming nuptials further.
It would be what he would do, so this was a beautiful opportunity. 

After all, he would be married soon, so further discussions with them would also soon come to an end.
Less things to worry about. 

It’s nothing to do with Leyla, his marriage.
It was just something he needed to do.
After all, it was the proper path for him, a path he knew he would take one day. 

But should it even come to fruition? 

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Just before a slew of unwarranted questions would come spilling out of his thoughts, a sudden knock jolted him out of his thoughts.
He turned to his door, and in came a maid informing him of Count Brandt and his family’s arrival.

They’d come earlier than intended.
Matthias hummed in acknowledgement, before turning away.
Shortly after, he exited his chambers, and came to greet his fiance and soon-to-be-in-laws.

Claudine was as radiant as ever, wearing the latest spring fashion.
She looked as fresh as a newly bloomed flower.
Even the Duke’s nearby maids couldn’t help but be enraptured by her pleasantly. 

He’d also heard that Claudine performed well last night, she was the most desirable lady in attendance.
Truly befitting for the next in line Duchess Herhardt.
She even beat the Empress’ daughter, who’d also tried to offer him her hand in marriage. 

But being noble-born, Matthias expected her to do well on such occasions.
So it wasn’t as awe-inspiring as it sounded to him, even if the Empress acknowledged her superiority amongst the others. 

Really, the only thing left for them to do was get married officially.
It was something both families worked hard to ensure for many years.
And one that would ensure that the next generation of Herhardts would grow into more power, and the glory of their family would continue to hold long after they’re gone.

“Oh, Duke Herhardt, I’m very pleased you’re finally here!” Greeted Claudine with a beaming smile, immediately standing up to greet him politely.
Matthias only nodded politely towards her in response, languidly approaching them and smiled at his other guests.

Claudine bitterly thought that while he’d been dutiful to her last night, staying by her side, and escorting her wherever and whenever they were needed to, she could tell he wasn’t really paying attention at all to anyone. 

Even as he looked at her, he didn’t seem to find her worthy of any thought at all. 

“Would you all care to join me for a walk in the gardens?” He immediately asked Claudine, wasting no time for niceties. 

Everyone was taken aback by the sudden request, as they all looked at him in confusion, and half with apprehension.
It was a very odd request, especially as he’d never done this before. 

Any time they were meeting up, it was always with visiting families, and attendants.
He’d never once initiated contact, completely content the Brandt family would be the one seeking him out if they ever need anything done. 

“Y-you mean, just us? The two of us?” Claudine asked for clarification, and Matthias nodded promptly. 

“Yes, my Lady.
I wish to speak to you about something.” He told her, his tone indicating he won’t have any qualms telling her anyway even if she were to deny an opportunity for any privacy. 

It irked Claudine very much that she could tell just who he’d been thinking about before the odd request even as he talked to her. 

The least he could do was marry her first, before bringing up the subject of his mistress. 

Unfortunately for many of them, before Claudine could even give him a response, a servant came hollering, calling out loudly for their master’s attention.
They rushed in without any preamble, all frazzled and panicked and also…

Terrified. 

“Master!” It was Matthias’ attendant. 

Elysee frowned in displeasure, immediately shooting up to her feet in indignation!

“Have you no manners?! We’re in the presence of our guests! You would do well to make no commotion unless it’s a life and death situation!” She immediately scolded, and the attendant blushed furiously in embarrassment at being openly berated.

Matthias assessed him momentarily, before that uncomfortable churn returned in his gut.
His entire frame tensed in anticipation, completely ignoring his mother and went past her to regain his servant’s attention.

“What happened?” He asked harshly, and the attendant’s eyes locked on his before the fear returned to him. 

Now everyone was eager to hear what was happening and watched as the attendant gulped down nervously, and bowed his head deeply in front of them.

“We had received an urgent call from Arvis, my Lord.” He finally said.