Lazy Dungeon Master

are called tools.
Items.
In fact, I never saw those guys make any voluntary movements.
Even after their owners, the bandits, died.
In other words, slaves… are items, she just doesn’t have an owner now.
Items of dead adventurers become the dungeon’s.
Therefore, she already belongs to the dungeon.
Right, Rokuko?”
“U-umm… even though they’re called items, they’re living things, having magical power…”
“Even if you called them living things, you can deploy demons directly from the dungeon core so long as there aren’t invaders.
In other words, it’s possible to send and collect living things.
In fact, couldn’t you collect the moldy bread? Isn’t mold a living thing? If that’s the case, you could probably collect a box with a mouse in it for example.
So you should be able to collect living things like humans.
It’s no good since there’s magical power? Even magic tools have magical power.
Didn’t you collect the light magic tool? Therefore, there’s no reason you can’t collect THAT-!!”

I looked at the monitor and map.
The fire spread to the bed, beginning to scorch the sheets.
The girl was shown as a red dot on the map, representing her as an intruder.
Shit, it’s still no good, I didn’t convince myself enough!

“A-a slave isn’t an item after all!”
“Then that isn’t even a slave! It’s a pillow! That is a pillow! A dog eared girl type of pillow! An item meant for men concealed under their beds!!”

That’s a pillow, a pillow, a pillow, a pillow, a pillow, a pillow, a pillow…
Imagine it.
That is a hug pillow.
A pillow that felt very good when you embraced it.
Even playing with its dog ears would be amusing, and had the clothing option of adding knee-socks to it to caress and admire… ah, I should have been doing something like that.
Yeah, such an important hug pillow must not be burned.
Ah, I want to sleep using that pillow.
Maybe not having knee socks on its legs is also an option?
It would also be good to feel cold legs at times, rather than like a hot-water bottle.
Speaking of hot-water bottles, the bandit boss used Rokuko’s core as a hot-water bottle huh? Ha ha ha.
Wait, I got a bit of topic.
Come to think of it, although there is an item called the heavenly pillow, I wonder if hug pillows are better than it?
… Ah, I remembered something unpleasant.
Vomit Melon used it like that…
Though being used goods was a demerit, it won’t be a problem if I wash it thoroughly.
Cleanup is really convenient.
Can it wash hug pillows too?
Well then, if not I’ll just have to wash it thoroughly.

I could already only see the dog eared girl as a hug pillow.
Glancing at the map, rather than the red dot of an intruder, there was a green dot indicating an item.

“Alright, it’s a hug pillow.
Collect it.”

In conclusion, she could do it.

*

“Eeeeeh… W-why could you collect it!? She was an intruder, the master room-”
“Huh? I just collected a hug pillow.
Rather, Rokuko, don’t absorb the corpses before the fire burns out.
Wait a while after it finishes, a knight might come by to make sure.”

Ah, a bit of its hair burned.
Wasting such precious black hair.
Well, with the auto-restoration function, it was left as just burnt.
Maybe short is good too… Woah, some white stuff is stuck in it.
Seriously Melon Vomit, wash it out.

“Eh-, i-is that right… No, no no.
Wait a moment.
If intruders can’t be brought into the core, it isn’t funny she was collected!”
“What are you talking about? Isn’t it natural that a hug pillow, therefore an item, could be brought in?”
“Y-yeah… I get the feeling that works…”

And so, I used Cleanup on the hug pillow.
As the foam characteristic to the Cleanup magic went from top to bottom on the hug pillow, it completely cleaned it off–

“Uoh-!?”

–and it let out a cute sound.
…Oh, I remembered.
Right, I collected a dog eared slave girl.
Phew, I almost didn’t come back after my self-suggestion…

“G-good, I’m back.
Right, somehow, I collected her…”

“Ah, you’re bad? Then I demand an explanation!”
“Ah, that’s easy… It’s because I could.”

I thought I couldn’t do it so I convinced myself.
Magic is a free and irresponsible thing… though now I’m tired.

“You saw it right? You can collect slaves.”
“That’s right… I can collect slaves…”

Yeah, it’s better to have Rokuko think that.
… Well, what do I do with this dog eared girl? For now, should I really make her a hug pillow…?

“By the way, what’s this one’s name? It’d be hard to refer to her without one.”
“Ah, that’s right… Your name? Or maybe your nickname? What is it?”
“Eh….
ah… … Meat… is what I’m called, Goshujin-sama.”

Though her reaction was a little dull, she answered properly.
For the time being, I laid down for the day, taking out sweet rolls and a futon and pillow combo with DP, having her rest.
Though she didn’t move at first, she obediently ate the sweet rolls when ordered and laid down, sleeping on the futon.
For information on how to treat Meat it might be good if the group of knights returned.
Above that, it’s better that the knights don’t meddle.

*

In the end, the group of knights confirmed that the bandits’ corpses burned sufficiently before returning.
As expected, I slept through the whole thing.
After that, they returned to their camp without doing anything in particular.
Yeah, I think it would have been amazing if they’d just slaughtered the bandits to eat their roasted meat.
Truly.
Turning the corpses into DP wasn’t a problem, it also became a significant influx.
With this, our savings are totaled at—14504 DP.

“Amazing… this is the first time I’ve seen so much DP.”

Right now, when compared with our DP savings so far it was a small fortune.
However, the bandits aren’t here anymore, so our income decreased.
Gobsuke isn’t here anymore… but in exchange I have a dog eared slave and have to support it.
With three meals a day, assuming that sweet roll assortments and beverages are served… that’s a consumption of 15 DP per day.
And the income from the core was just 10 DP.
It seemed that the dog eared slave earned 0 DP even when left alone since it was collected as an item.
Or maybe it isn’t strong enough to collect DP from to start with…
Well, that being the case, I’ll cut her meals to two a day to make it stabilize… no, in order for adventurers to not expect anything when they come, I need to take out a goblin.
There would be a deficit.
Could I sleep soundly in a situation like this? No, I couldn’t sleep.
I’m a coward, so I can’t endure my savings being gradually decreased.

So, I who cannot endure a deficit management style, will have to fundamentally change the [Ordinary Cave]’s nature.
… Haah, I don’t want to work.