NovaDog Space Fugitives And Frankfurters

”Turn! Turn now, or else! ” The voice blared in her ears, and the heat-seekers rocketed towards the cruiser. ”The life of your passengers depends on it! Turn! Turn! ”

She didn have to be told twice!

With a deft motion characteristic of an expert pilot, she lurched to the left, and the missiles whizzed harmlessly past. It was all in a days work. She chuckled to herself and took another sip of her tenth can of Electro-Nite 24-Hour Energy.

”Watch out! Its not over yet! ”

Huh?

Oh, right- they were heat-seeking missiles.

Oh, right- they were heat-seeking missiles…!

She lurched again, but she was too late! They collided with the hull, flinging her to and fro in the cockpit. Everything in her vision turned red. The shields deactivated and her life-meter dropped instantly to zero. So this was how it ended, huh?

Things went black. There was a voice from beyond the abyss.

”Jako! ”

Jako sighed.

”Jako, take that thing off! We
e here! ”

”Fine, Im coming! Im coming! ”

Just as the red GAME OVER message appeared before her eyes, she yanked off her VR headset and chucked it carelessly onto the dashboard. Nine energy drink cans were strewn at her feet, and she wiped a liter of sweat off of her forehead. That was a side effect of Electro-Nite- the labels said not to drink more than two cans per day- but she found that the copious amounts of sweat helped make her experiences in Dangerlactic Online feel more real.

She adjusted the bandana tied around the back of her head and ducked down into the tunnel that led to the S.S. SyKos minuscule exit bay. Her partner- Syldie, a diminutive Polar Elf from Polyluna- stood by the exit hatch, tapping her foot expectantly, bulging forehead vein about to burst. If she tapped any harder, Jako thought she might tap another hole in the floor- there were already two of them from times when she tripped over the front step.

”Jako Hedera Langst, ” said Syldie in a tone that meant I am extremely upset with you.

”Hey, ” said Jako, letting out a half-burp. ”I was just in the middle of a battle, so cut me some slack. ”

”You
e always in the middle of a battle! Don you remember rule number eighty-two? ”

Syldies finger snapped to #82 on the updated Rules and Regulations poster she had printed out last month. The print was so small it was impossible to read, especially with her unadjusted eyes and the 244 items squished onto a regulation-size piece of printer paper, but she remembered the rule nonetheless. Syldie had repeated it a billion times.

Jako will stop playing video games ten minutes before landing and be there to greet the client on time.

Jako huffed. Sure, she had broken the rule, but this time she had a special reason for it-

”This is your tenth offense! ” shouted Syldie. ”I don know what to do with you! ”

”More like, you don know what youd doooo without me. ”

She yawned mid-sentence and rubbed her eyes. It was true- Syldie had hired Jako to do the heavy lifting. Polar Elves were scrawny, after all. There was a rumor that most of them wore those traditional pointy hats to make themselves seem more intimidating. On the other hand, Floran elves like Jako were tall and sinewy, and they would never be caught dead in pointy garments of any kind- not that Jako dressed like other Florans, though. She was an outcast wherever she went, but she also couldn bring herself to care.

”Whatever, ” Syldie spat, activating the exit hatch with her fingerprint. ”Hey, wheres the food? ”

”Huh? Oh, right. ”

Syldie let out a raspy sigh as Jako went back to retrieve the goods. Twelve hours earlier, the S.S. Syko had docked at Minamaxs Meatery, a gourmet hamburger shop in the high-faluting Nova Quadrant, and fetched a heat-conserving box of a dozen specialty sandwiches made from twelve different types of rare meat. Their client was paying them 5000 Novabits- a meager amount for the scope of the job, but enough to make ends meet for two days longer. Two days was the amount of time they needed to get to their next client, who had made an almost unbelievable offer- 890000 Novabits, all to covertly transport one box to a nearby galaxy! When Syldie heard the offer, she forgot all about her full-disclosure policy and agreed to ferry the mystery item immediately. With that kind of money, she could get the ship fixed… or even buy a whole new ship! She had her eye on a beautiful, sleek new smartship model called the Darkmatter 570. Maybe she could hire a more competent assistant, t